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Post by upduck on May 20, 2016 6:21:04 GMT
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Post by upduck on May 22, 2016 4:59:53 GMT
Sunday 22nd May
Woke up this morning to find someone had left a ton of plasticine outside my front door.
I didn't know what to make of it.
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Post by upduck on May 23, 2016 4:31:45 GMT
Monday 23rd May
Starbucks are going to begin selling branded trousers.
They're starting with Kappa chinos.
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Post by upduck on May 24, 2016 4:37:19 GMT
Tuesday 24th May
After the birth of my first baby, I was promptly asked to leave the delivery room.
Apparently, cutting the cord and saying, "I now declare this fanny open!" didn't amuse the midwife.
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Post by upduck on May 25, 2016 4:36:09 GMT
Wednesday 25th May
Did you see that Channel 4 documentary last night about the bloke born with 5 dicks, shame..... but at least his pants fit like a glove
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Post by upduck on May 26, 2016 4:41:01 GMT
Thursday 26th May
I went to the chemist and asked for some Durex super extra length condoms.
the woman behind the counter said, " We haven't got any. have you tried boots?"
I said, "Yes love, but they're a bit heavy."
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